I tink soon, i am embarking a new "life" after idling and running away from reality for 2yrs.
I "will" be taking up a part time degree course...most likely Accountancy from SIM-RMIT. The closing date line is 1 Oct, which is next sun. which leaves me exactly 1 wk for me to finalise my decision. But till now, i am still very hestiant as to which course to choose and to an extent, whether i wan to take up my degree or not. Of course if i miss this Jan intake, i can either wait for July intake (if available) or 08 intake. But i am 23 alrdy.
Why have i come to this? Mostly, i guess is because i cant really see my future. Things seems so blurish to me. I am certainly not complaining abt my current life. To be frank, i am very fortunate. Yes, in fact i am blessed.
I have a understanding dad. Since 1989, my dad has been buying this foundation policy for me and my bro. All these yrs, he has been the one contributing to the premium, even so after i started working. When i said i wan to study, he said i could use the value till today ($3500) to finance my fees. He and bro are also going to surrender Bro's policy for my studies. Seriously aside, this foundation policy isnt making much $ for us. For 16 yrs, i have only made $300 plus worth of interest. So u see, its wise to surrender. My bro, even better still, he's gg to lend me his money for my studies. Lend his money to his spendthrift sis who has been struggling to save while surrending to the "temptations" outside. As a matter of fact, I have alrdy made the necessary documents to surrender my policy yesterday. Does this means that i am making the first step to study?
I have got the best job ever, as a Executive Asst. My boss, colleagues are a bunch of patient, kindest soul to work wif. Leave taking is lenient, any questions or doubts at wk, jus simply ask. They are all willing to help me even Winnie, who is jus beside our section. Many thks to her, who has to help me everytime i do PO and PR. Despite going thru the steps over and over again with her. Usually, the daily working hrs are passes by with the company of jokes and laughter and at times, gossiping wif Obasan on the phone. Its homely, to a certain extent to me.
Wat is it that i am not satisfied with at this point of time?
As a matter of fact, My path has alrdy craved out by itself....
Was on a conversation wif this frene at MSN yesterday. I told him abt the dilemma that i am in. Which course to tke. He seems like a pretty knowledge person to me. I guess partly cause he's an overseas student and been travelled widely. He cautioned me abt the craziness of studying while working and are the pple ard me gg to support me thru when things get really crazy.
He's encouraging, said that i can do it since i am a tough gal. Wahahahaha!!!!! He dun knw me well enough.
He gave me this "degree is not all abt getting a better job, its abt changing the way u tink or work wif pple"
All along, I know i wanted a degree. To satisfy my cravings for knowledge and not to let my brain idle for too long. I wan to do something. Not jus everyday gg to wk, knock off, go out. It seems so unfufiling to me. But am i up to the challenge or not? Am i able to take it and will the pple ard me gg to take it when i become more unreasonable, stressed out, emotional, tempermental and to the extent create a nusiance. At the same time, i believe tat if i am in it, i "will" be able to conquer it.
But which course to take up? Accountacny? because I am interested in M & A? As according to Ruby, Accountancy will bring me nearer to M & A. Or Finance & Accounting? But its from UOL, its totally examinations based and on top of that i have to pass the bridging course b4 i can formally start the course.
Despite having the idea to take up these fields but seriously, i dun tink i wan to enter into these industries. Its too hectic. I wan my life as simple as possible. Ruby told me that, it doesnt matter, jus study first, get the degree then say later. She said
"Wherever you go, they won't look at ur qualifications because you shld have acquire it alrdy."I remember i onced told myself, i dun wan to join the rat race. And come one day, i shall come to a stage whereby i dun have to worry abt losing my job.
I have come to a point whereby looking at the courses brochures and templets makes me sick. -_-
So....am i gg North, South, East or West?
The feeling is here again......
i wan to pack my bags.....
i wan to leave......
