Mamma Mia

I am all fine doing my work until she came along.
I was so very unhappy towards knock off today.

I don't understand??!! why must i do and go through those shitty stuff because of her.
Does anyone know how much trouble she has got me into?

I was instructed to "settle" the issue. "settle"???? How sia????
To the extent i wanted to cry. Cause it makes me feel like i didn't handle the situation well.

She simply beat around the bush just to say she don't want to attend the course.
Asked me "do you get what i mean"???

Of course I get what you mean.... that you are plainly giving EXCUSES not to attend the course.
Only you don't see that you are beating around the bush and giving excuses.

A lot of things makes me very weary lately.
My energy level is at one of its lowest...

Yet...this had to happen.....

I had a very unpleasant time with Him earlier.
We were supposed to meet for movie. I was really glad to be able to spend time with him cause we haven't been really spending time as we have before. Before he suggested movie, i was wondering whether to suggest movie to him too but i hold back as he might have commitments and is tired. So, when he suggested, it was a bonus to me!

After all that happened in the office, i wanted so much to pour my sorrows to him, seek support from him.
I reached at 6plus then he messaged saying that he will be late.
Okay then i will just hang around then.
Soon later, he called..... from his HOME.

He asked if i got the tickets already or not. Haven't! He asked why haven't?
(luckily i haven't sia!)

Then the ultimate came..... He suggested breaking fast at home.
Then what time will he reach?
I think he said 730pm...

Congratulations! I will be roaming around ALL BY MYSELF for the next 1 hr plus!

His rationale is that its already 6plus already, might as well break fast at home at around 7 then come and meet me. Cause even if he come and meet me now, he will only be able to spend half an hr with me then i will roam alone myself again.

I beg to differ.

From 6.30pm to 730pm....i whole hour leh! I will be all alone. What am i going to do??? Waste my time away when i can catch up on my sleep and rest and assignments.
I WANT TO SPEND MY TIME WITH MY BOYFRIEND NOT SPEND MY TIME WAITING FOR HIM.
Please don't talk to me about numbers.
At least he can meet me for a while first, ease my "loneliness" so that at least the waiting will not so torturous for me.
He explained in the msg that he will be late. He didn't say he will be this LATE.

My brother has this habit....if he's late and he's still at HOME, he will tell his friends that he's walking towards the MRT liao. Its bluff but......the point is that the "waiting" part seems shorter for the waiting party. I am not telling people to bluff though.

It will be nice if he's with me at AMK, he's at the breaking fast mosque and i at Amk hub waiting for him. RATHER than I am at AMK hub and he's at HOME breaking fast.
Theres a difference! Too bad, he doesn't see it.

Fancy saying i don't accept his reason! He said he did thought about me. But did he?

Here I am making effort to meet him at AMK after work. WHY cant he spend that half an hour with me. Even if i will be left wandering around afterwards.

After this and that, i said to buy tickets and wait for him to come. His concern is....will i be all angry even when he reached...
That was the last straw. It just tells me one thing.... He doesn't want to come since things has become like this. When i said to wait for him and get the tickets, i was ready to use that hour plus to calm myself down and be all well when he come. I was intending to look at the bigger picture. But alas............

If anyone wants to talk to me, you have to talk to my heart. Not my brain.

Anyone tell me.....which option would you choose????
Don't be the goody person and bluff me and bluff yourself!
Does anyone know how it feels like to wait long hours for people?

I usually have the patience but not today. I know he doesn't know. I can't blame him...

But... he doesn't seems to know how to talk to me lately.

Its not that i am unreasonable but there are times i felt certain things can be fairer. But i know i have not been fair to others too.

I guess i am just too emotional. Want to get away from all the shitty work stuff, the tiredness...... I guess ......I am really tired.