Vesak Day Eve

My long weekend just has to end with a "blast" on Thursday. Just before we knocked off, our Boss sent us an email requesting Sartha and I to fill up our job scope in excel spreadsheet. As stated in the email, this was required for P&S Division purpose.

I have to admit, I was shocked that even EAs are required to fill up this. As what Sartha had heard, all clerks could be centralized to serve the whole Division. Well, in fact, when Sartha knew that there are plans to centralized the Clerks, she was very demoralized. It was till this catastrophe email was forwarded to me then, I told Peck Sia that now then I fully understand how demoralized Sartha was then.

In one Division, it is divided into a few Branches and from Branches to several Sections. Can you imagine how many sections we have to support? Or rather, to serve. The immediate issue that flashed through my mind was that I couldn't escape that Bitch's clutches! The thought of that just simply sent me fuming mad and trembling in fear. No joke. Nobody will believe me that I was victimized to this extent. I am fearful of that Bitch and her followers. Some people around just simply didn't make things better but they in fact made it even worse for me.

The immediate thing I did after receiving the email was to discuss with Sartha and then approach my confidant... Mr Yeo, who is my Reporting Officer and told him the situation. He was very diplomatic and try to assure me that they will take care of my welfare. He asked me to work harder and become EO. I was like, what do u mean, didn't I work hard enough? On a side note, many months ago, when I was on the verge of breaking down from the torture of the Bitch, I contemplated quitting and told him that it would be easier if I teach at Childcare. His reply... "Ok, I will be the cleaner at the childcare then" I was so touched by his statement. Though true or not, I am still very touched till today.

After seeking opinions with Peck Sia and Sartha, I decided to Instant Message (how I always communicate with) my Boss. I asked him what's with the sudden submission of job scope. He "go one BIG ROUND to explain to me" and asked me if I get his drift. I wrapped his "explanation" in just one word... "centralized?". He replied "yup" . I was like...-_-" Centralized say Centralized lah...

Just last week, I was requested to cover the DMD's PA for half a day as she is on leave and the 2nd covering person is on course. Unfortunately, because the clerks has to do morning and afternoon counter duty, so I was the 4th choice for covering. I don't mind covering, thinking that it's an opportunity for me to pick up secretarial skills . In fact, just this half a day, I realised that arranging meetings is actually an art. Initially, with the "begging" and "protesting" to my Boss, I decided to accept this positively ...Well, in fact, I mind covering since it's this DMD. Anyone else, I should have no qualms about it. Alright, but the issue is that calling me in to cover is seriously uncalled for, come to think of it. Arrangements could be made instance that the clerk to cover for DMD's PA shall not be attending to the counter on that particular day. I am just an easy choice! Even Peck Sia thinks so that even one clerk cannot cover the next back up should be a clerk and not an EA. :( F*** it!

I ... find it hard to leave here or rather, my section. They are lovely people. Indeed, I don't hacker over promotions and all but yes, a part of me is waiting for my chance to proceed to the next level here but with limited opportunities and abundant of degree holders, it is hard, especially so I only want to stay in my own current section. But this does prompt me thinking whether how long can I stay like this? I have long been avoiding this issue that I have been rather stagnant here. It is not that I do not have a goal or ambition. I have. It is that to eventually work not for bread and butter and at any time, I can quit with no worries about bills and all.

For now, obviously, I haven't realised this "humble" ambition of mine. To top it off, I have to be financially and emotionally independent because I am not sure about our future. I have no one that I could depend on. It is not that I want to depend on someone. I think WOMEN should never depend on MAN. Rather, somebody to be there for me. Till rainbow cross my path ,my back up plan is to install the mentality that I have only myself.

I have never looked down on my job or position. I take pride in what I do and try to perfect my piece of work. But what can I possibly do when the people who give me my job, looks down on my job?

For the first time in my whole 5years of work here, I felt ashamed that I am just an EA ONLY that could be easily subjected to such "humiliation".